Victim or Victor


Have you noticed that some people manage to sabotage their success and destroy their chances at happiness by complaining and blaming outside circumstances for their unfortunate plight? Then there are those who seem to have every obstacle imaginable thrown in front of them and they move ahead, refusing to give up.  They take these obstacles and somehow manage to make their lives work and even enjoy the process as they go.

It is my belief that those in the latter group, consciously or unconsciously, shift their thoughts to create an empowering belief system that will steer them to become victorious; regardless of their circumstances. The others create thoughts that will lead them to believe that they are victims.

The challenge is that it’s easy to play the victim.  It’s easy to blame outside circumstances for interfering with your plans and goals. There are a host of convenient scapegoats; the weather, the economy, your spouse, your job, your boss, the government, nature, your zipper, or even God (God forbid) for your life not going exactly the way you want.  It can be difficult to take responsibility for your success and happiness, yet that is exactly what you must do.

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When things aren’t going your way and everything seems to be falling apart around you, immediately stop complaining.  It only makes matters worse and in reality is a real beat-down for the people around you. 

Here we go again.”

Why is this happening to me?”

 I will never be able to handle this.”

“I never get a break,”

“I’m not lucky,”

“Good things never happen to me,”

What’s the use? No one cares anyway”

These words are not only self-defeating in the moment, but keep you from seeing possibilities to a brighter outcome or finding solutions to problems.  Instead shift your focus and way of thinking and look for something good that might come of your circumstances.  Sometimes you have to push yourself to see the bright side.  It’s really not that difficult.  It’s not brain surgery, but more like a brain adjustment. 

Remember: what you think is what you get.  If you can’t see the bright side, then step away from the situation for a while and focus your attention on something that will lift you up, like your children, your dog or cat, or that funny-yet-profound book you just read.  Or get involved in some kind of activity that makes you feel good, such as walking, bike riding or exercising. Or take time for a funny movie or just enjoy the scenery.  The goal is simply to get back to feeling good.  Build on those feelings and go from there.

Every minute that you wallow in a negative state, the longer you keep yourself from the quality of life you desire.  Instead, consciously and methodically shift your thoughts to what lifts your spirt and little by little your negativity will diminish.  Be consistent and methodical in your approach and you will feel the difference as you gradually continue to reject negative thoughts and replace them with an empowering way of thinking. 

In time you will begin to respond to challenging situations from a position of positivity and hope for the future. There will come a time when you will naturally expect good things instead of bad.  The choice is yours and it always has been.  It’s up to you to make the right choice for your own success and happiness. 


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