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Rodney Dangerfield: Funny Man, Sad Story
One Saturday night in 1986, I was performing at Dangerfield’s Comedy Club in Manhattan. I had just finished my show and the emcee was making his final announcements when I noticed someone approaching the stage. No introduction was necessary. Rodney Dangerfield was at the pinnacle of his career, and everyone knew who he was. He was considered one of the top comedians in the country, He was on the Tonight Show every two months, had two hit movies that got high ratings from the critics and two HBO comedy specials.
Wearing his trademark white shirt and red tie, the star stepped into the spotlight to a thunderous round of applause. He bowed and waved to the standing and cheering fans who were by then chanting his name. It was deafening in that room.
I was in total awe at the energy this guy radiated. He told a few jokes, thanked the audience for supporting comedy and stepped off the stage. People were begging him for his autograph. Some simply wanted to touch him and thank him. Then everyone started chanting that he was number one. I remember saying to myself, “So this is what it’s like to be a star! This guy has the world in the palm of his hands!”
It wasn’t too long after, that I came to the realization that holding the world in the palm of your hands isn’t what’s important…It’s the choices you make as your holding it.
Later that night when the crowd was gone and the staff was cleaning up, I sat at the bar as usual with Rodney. I asked him how it felt to be at the top. He downed a double scotch, looked me straight in the face and said, “It sucks.” I laughed and waited for a punch line. Then it became obvious that he was serious.
He proceeded to go on a verbal rampage on how he was cheated in life and that the entertainment business never gave him the respect he deserved; an eerie echo of the catchphrase (I Get No Respect!) that made him famous to begin with. “Look at me!” he said angrily. “They waited until my later years before they decided I was a star! I should have made it thirty years ago when I was young, and I could have enjoyed it!”
I was dumbfounded. This was when Rodney’s iconic performance in Back to School was currently showing in theaters, which Rodney starred in and co-wrote. I searched for the right words and finally said, “But you’re at the top of your career. You’re a household name. Everyone knows who you are. Didn’t you hear that crowd? They love you and know your jokes by heart. You have a blockbuster movie that’s getting great reviews. Many critics gave you a nine!”
He downed another drink and said, “It should have been a ten! All those years of busting my ass and taking shit from people who have no idea what talent is! I gave up everything for this damn business and for what?” He shook his head in disgust and looked straight into my eyes. “I don’t expect you to understand, Steve.” He looked down into his empty glass. “It should have happened 30 years ago when I was younger. When I really could have enjoyed myself.”
This is a truly sad story and without a doubt, one of the biggest lessons I learned, not just in show business, but in any business and in life. Here was someone who should have been living his dream. Instead, he was living a nightmare. He achieved far more than he set out to do but he could not enjoy the benefits of his success. Why? Because he unknowingly put his happiness on hold. For most of his life he waited for a future event that he thought would make him happy.
You, dear reader, need to understand that your subconscious rules 97% of your life. It doesn’t know the difference between true or false. It only knows the information that you program into it. Look at it this way…Your subconscious is like the “Genie of your soul.” If you’re continuously saying to yourself that you won’t be happy unless a particular situation goes the way you want, or until you reach a certain status, or achieve a particular goal, the Genie of your soul will respond with, “Okay…I can wait…Your wish is my command.”
Here’s my point…Throughout the years Rodney Dangerfield unknowingly created a belief system that signified that he couldn’t and wouldn’t be happy until he reached a certain status and achieved a particular goal. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy.
His sub-conscious, (The Genie of his soul) complied with “Your wish is my command.” As a result, he bypassed the journey and his right to enjoy himself towards the goal and let his life pass him by. His past had taken over his present, daily reality, and he was haunted by regrets of days gone by.
People who view their lives as Rodney did quite often get caught up in a perpetual cycle of unconscious thoughts that lead them to believe that success and happiness is somewhere in the future or when the goal is achieved. The unfortunate truth about people with this type of mindset is that no matter what they achieve, they will have a difficult time being happy.
As long as they go on through life consumed with toxic emotions and unaware that they are identifying their success and happiness with achieving a distant goal, nothing will satisfy them, even when that goal is achieved.
Why? Because that same toxic mindset stays with them.
There are far too many people in business and in life, holding onto their precious ticket to Happy Land, waiting for the Good-Time-Express to arrive and maybe you’re one of them. Give me a break! Better yet, give yourself a break. This sort of thinking defies all logic. Why wait for the goal to be achieved to be happy? Why not enjoy the process towards the goal? Why not focus on what’s working, and what you have, rather than fixating on what isn’t working, and what you don’t have.
If you do, you will not only stand a better chance at succeeding, but you will have a profound appreciation of how you earned your success. In my view, that’s the ultimate success.
It’s curious to me that we have laws in place to make sure no one infringes upon our right to happiness, yet we are so often a willing impediment to our own enjoyment of life. The U.S. Constitution guarantees the right to “the pursuit of happiness.”
Maybe it should read “life, liberty and the happiness of the pursuit.”
About the Author: Steve Rizzo is the Mindset Adjuster. You can’t attend one of his keynote speeches, seminars, or read his books and leave with the same mindset. He’s a personal development expert, Motivational Business Speaker & Attitude Keynote Speaker, comedian, and best-selling author. It’s no surprise that Steve is also a Hall of Fame Speaker Inductee, an honor bestowed upon fewer than 300 speakers worldwide since 1977.