Breaking a Vicious Cycle: Overcoming Self-Pity
Do you often think that life has been exceptionally hard on you lately and that no matter what you do, your circumstances don’t seem to get better?
In situations like these, it’s natural to feel sorry for yourself. However, what isn’t okay is getting so comfortable with playing the victim that you refuse to do anything to change your circumstances because you start believing your efforts will yield no results.
This state of being is called self-pity, and while it may not be a drug, it’s just as addictive. Let’s take a look at some signs of self-pity and how to break the vicious cycle once and for all.
Some signs of Self-pity
Individuals with self-pity never fully develop self-reflection and learning from their failures. Let’s take a look at some signs of self-pitying.
You struggle with everything
If you struggle with health, finances and relationships and always seem to be stuck in a rut because you don’t see a way out, you likely indulge in self-pity. A reason for this could be that
you’re too focused on the problems and their consequent unhappiness that you don’t think you possess the ability to overcome them.
You seek validation, but it doesn’t motivate you
Each validation you receive sends you further down the rabbit hole.
While an individual with self-pity may want others to confirm their misery, other peoples’ acceptance makes them feel even worse. Consequently, they seek out more sympathy from others, starting a vicious cycle.
You don’t want it to end
Even though you realize your life isn’t just a series of misfortunes, you choose to focus only on the disappointments you’ve faced. This is because you’ve become comfortable—or worse, addicted—to the idea of suffering and gaining sympathy from others for it.
How you can overcome self-pity
Let’s take a look at how you can take control of your circumstances to break the cycle of self-pity.
Make a promise to yourself
Since self-pity is a cycle or a repeated pattern, it’s understandable that breaking away from it will take time. However, the first step toward feeling sorry for yourself is to make a promise that you will think positively.
Being optimistic and thinking positively also has to be coupled with self-awareness so you can stop yourself from sliding into old patterns. You should also know that being sorrowful isn’t the same as self-pity.
Take a proactive stance
Say goodbye to moping around and set goals for yourself. It may be hard to achieve them at first, but once you set realistic small-term goals, a sense of overbearing achievement will give you the motivation to strive harder and become more productive.
You can also distance yourself from those who join in on the pity party instead of helping you to regain control and follow up on your plans to keep you on track.
Replace pity with gratitude
Think of it like this—if you have the time and energy to dwell on your misfortunes, then you have the capacity to be thankful for the good things in your life, too.
You can do this by creating a list of things and people in your life you’re grateful for. This way, whenever you feel like you’re slipping back into the self-pity mode, you can revert to the list and remind yourself of all the good things in life you can still be grateful for.
Regular cardio exercises can improve your mood as they can boost the production of endorphins and dopamine in your body, which are natural feel-good hormones. In addition to that, exercise can help to loosen tense muscles.
While the journey may be difficult, the consequences will make it worth your while. Get in touch with the renowned motivational Hall of Fame keynote speaker Steve Rizzo today to help you break the vicious cycle of self-pity. Book the wellness speaker and order his books Get your SHIFT Together and Motivate THIS! today.