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Attract Who You Assume You Are
You Don’t Attract What You Want—You Attract Who You Assume You Are
Let me share something that changed my entire approach to success, both on stage as a comedian and in my career as a motivational speaker: You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you assume you are.
Read that again. Let it sink in.
I spent years chasing the “big break”—the audition that would change everything, the connection that would open doors, the opportunity that would validate my talent. But here’s what I discovered: The breakthrough didn’t come from wanting it more. It came when I shifted my identity and started showing up as the person who had already earned it.
The Identity Crisis Nobody Talks About
In the business world, we’re obsessed with goals. We set revenue targets, establish KPIs, create vision boards, and map out five-year plans. There’s nothing wrong with that—except when we miss the most critical piece of the puzzle.
Your mindset isn’t just about positive thinking or affirmations scribbled on sticky notes. It’s about the fundamental story you tell yourself about who you are. And that story? It’s running the show behind the scenes, directing every decision you make, every risk you take (or don’t), and every opportunity you pursue or let slip away.
Think about your business relationships. Who shows up to those meetings? Is it someone who assumes they’re a valued expert with insights worth hearing? Or is it someone who secretly feels like an imposter waiting to be found out?
The universe—or more accurately, the people around you—can sense the difference. And they respond accordingly.
Attract Who You Assume You Are: The Magnetic Force of Self-Perception
Here’s where it gets interesting. Your self-perception acts like a magnet, but not in the way most people think. It doesn’t magically pull opportunities out of thin air. Instead, it filters your reality.
When you assume you’re someone who succeeds, you notice opportunities that align with success. When you assume you’re struggling, you unconsciously filter for evidence that confirms the struggle. You’re literally blind to possibilities that don’t match your self-concept.
I’ve watched this play out countless times in my career and in the audiences I speak to. Two executives with identical credentials walk into the same networking event. One assumes they’re a valuable connection people want to meet. The other assumes they’re just another face in the crowd. Guess who builds better relationships that night?
It’s not about arrogance or fake confidence. It’s about alignment. When who you assume you are matches who you want to become, everything shifts.
The Corporate Identity Trap
Let me address the elephant in the boardroom: Many successful professionals are stuck in an identity trap they don’t even recognize.
You’ve climbed the ladder, earned the title and got the corner office or the impressive client roster. From the outside, you’re the picture of success. But internally? You’re still operating from an outdated identity—the hungry newcomer who had to prove themselves, the person who succeeded despite their circumstances rather than because of their capabilities.
This creates a fascinating paradox. You’re achieving results, but you’re doing it while swimming upstream against your own self-concept. You’re succeeding in spite of yourself, not because of yourself. And it’s exhausting.
The most common version I see? The “I got lucky” identity. Executives who attribute their success to timing, connections, being in the right place at the right moment—anything except their own competence and value. They’re terrified someone will discover they’re not as capable as their position suggests.
But here’s the truth bomb: If you’ve consistently delivered results, made smart decisions, and created value, you didn’t get lucky. You earned it. The question is: When will you start assuming you’re the kind of person who earns it?
Attract Who You Assume You Are: The Assumption Audit
Let’s get practical. Right now, in this moment, what do you assume about yourself? Not what you hope for or aspire to—what do you genuinely assume is true about you?
Complete these sentences honestly:
- I’m the kind of person who…
- When it comes to challenges, I typically…
- People see me as someone who…
- My track record suggests I’m…
- Deep down, I believe I’m…
Your answers reveal your operating identity—the version of yourself you’re broadcasting to the world whether you realize it or not. And make no mistake: People pick up on this. Your team knows it, clients sense it and your competitors can feel it.
Rewiring Your Identity Operating System
The good news? Your identity isn’t fixed. It’s not determined by your past or your circumstances. It’s a choice—a daily choice about who you decide to be.
But here’s where most people get it wrong. They try to change from the outside in. They think: “Once I achieve this goal, then I’ll feel like that kind of person.”
Wrong order.
You have to become that person first. Then the achievements follow. You don’t wait until you’re successful to start assuming you’re successful. You assume it now, and you show up accordingly.
This isn’t fake-it-till-you-make-it. This is recognition of who you actually are when you strip away all the limiting beliefs and outdated stories.
Think about the most successful people you know. They didn’t wait for permission to assume they were capable, valuable, and worthy of success. They just decided they were—and then acted accordingly.
Attract Who You Assume You Are: The Business Case for Identity Shift
Let’s talk ROI. What happens when you shift your identity in business?
First, your decision-making changes. When you assume you’re someone who creates value and deserves fair compensation, you stop undercharging for your services. When you assume you’re a strategic thinker whose insights matter, you speak up in meetings instead of holding back.
Second, your presence changes. People respond differently to someone who assumes they belong in the room versus someone who’s grateful just to be there. This isn’t about ego—it’s about energy. Confidence (the real kind, not the bravado) is magnetic.
Third, your resilience changes. When you face setbacks—and you will—your recovery time depends entirely on your identity. If you assume you’re someone who occasionally fails but ultimately succeeds, you bounce back. If you assume you’re fundamentally flawed and just got lucky until now, a single setback can derail you.
I’ve seen this transformation in every industry. The salesperson who shifts from “I’m trying to make a sale” to “I’m here to solve problems” sees their close rate skyrocket. The leader who shifts from “I need my team to like me” to “I’m here to bring out their best” becomes exponentially more effective. The entrepreneur who shifts from “I hope this works” to “I build things that create value” attracts better opportunities, partnerships, and resources.
The Relationship Multiplier Effect
Here’s something most people miss: Your identity doesn’t just affect you—it affects everyone around you.
When you assume you’re a leader, you give other people permission to step into their own leadership. If you assume you’re creative and resourceful, you inspire creativity in your team. When you assume you’re resilient, you help others develop resilience.
The opposite is equally true. When you assume you’re a victim of circumstances, you create a culture of excuses. When you assume you’re not good enough, you unconsciously sabotage the success of those around you because their success highlights your perceived inadequacy.
Your identity is contagious. In families, in teams, in organizations—the identity of leaders sets the tone for everyone else.
This is why identity work isn’t selfish. It’s one of the most generous things you can do. When you shift your identity to align with your highest potential, you create space for others to do the same.
The Life Application Beyond Business
Everything I’m sharing applies equally to your personal life. Because let’s be honest—the separation between “business you” and “personal you” is artificial. You’re one person with one operating identity.
The person who assumes they’re unlovable in relationships will sabotage partnerships even when they find someone amazing. If they assume they’re always broke will find ways to stay broke even when opportunities for abundance appear. The person who assumes they’re meant to struggle will unconsciously create struggle even when the path forward is clear.
I’ve lived this. Coming from a background where success wasn’t expected, I had to consciously choose a new identity. I had to decide I was someone worthy of the career I wanted, the relationships I desired, and the life I dreamed of. Not someday—right then, in the middle of uncertainty and doubt.
That decision changed everything. Not because it magically attracted opportunities (though opportunities did come), but because it changed how I showed up. It changed what I noticed. It changed what I was willing to do and what I was no longer willing to tolerate.
Attract Who You Assume You Are: The Daily Practice of Assumption
Here’s how you make this practical: Start each day by consciously choosing your identity.
Before you check email, before you dive into your to-do list, ask yourself: “Who am I assuming I am today?”
Then decide. Consciously. Deliberately.
“Today, I’m someone who creates value, and someone who solves problems with creativity and resourcefulness.” “Right now I’m someone who deserves respect and gives it freely.” “Today, I’m someone who leads with confidence and compassion.”
This isn’t affirmation. This is declaration. This is you taking ownership of the identity you’re bringing into the world.
Then—and this is critical—act accordingly. Let every decision, every interaction, every response flow from that identity. When you catch yourself slipping back into old patterns, pause and ask: “Is this how the person I’m choosing to be would respond?”
The Courage to Assume More
The hardest part isn’t understanding this concept. It’s having the courage to actually claim a bigger identity.
Because claiming you’re someone capable, valuable, and worthy of success means you can no longer hide behind excuses. It means you’re accountable for your results. It means you have to show up even when it’s uncomfortable.
That’s scary. It’s easier to stay small, to blame circumstances, to wait for someone else to validate you.
But small isn’t safe—it’s just slow suffocation.
The truth is, you’ve already proven you’re capable. Every challenge you’ve overcome, every obstacle you’ve navigated, every time you’ve delivered results—that’s evidence. The only question is: When will you start assuming what the evidence already shows?
Attract Who You Assume You Are: Your Shift Starts Now
You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you assume you are.
So who are you assuming you are today? Someone who’s still figuring it out? A person who needs more credentials before they deserve success? Someone who got lucky but might not be able to sustain it?
Or are you ready to assume you’re someone who creates value, delivers results, and deserves everything you’re working toward?
The choice is yours. But make no mistake—it is a choice. And that choice, made consciously every single day, will determine not just what you attract, but the entire trajectory of your business and your life.
Your mindset is everything. But your mindset starts with identity. And your identity? That’s the story you’re telling yourself right now about who you are.
Time to get your shift together and rewrite that story.
Because the person you assume you are today is creating the results you’ll experience tomorrow. Make sure that person is someone you’re proud to be.
Steve Rizzo is a Hall of Fame motivational speaker, former headline comedian, and the author of “Motivate This!” and “Get Your Shift Together.” As an inspirational keynote speaker, he helps business leaders and professionals shift their mindset to achieve breakthrough results. Learn more at steverizzo.com.
